If I were to assemble ...

... a soccer *ahem* football team, I would insist on the following:

1. The uniforms would be red.

The psychologists found that when the competitors appeared to be wearing red, they were awarded an average of 13% more points than the blue competitors, even though every athlete was presented in both colors at some point. What’s more, points awarded seemed to increase after the blue athlete was digitally transformed into a red athlete and decrease when the red competitor changed to blue.

2. I would field my team with short players.

Based on evolutionary and linguistic research which has revealed that people associate the size of others with concepts such as aggression and dominance, Van Quaquebeke and Giessner speculated that ambiguous fouls are more likely to be attributed to the taller of two involved players.

3. I'd insist on playing all my games at home.

Analysing over 2,500 English Premiership matches, researchers discovered that referees were statistically more likely to award yellow and red cards against the away team – even when home advantage, game importance and crowd size were taken into account.

4. I'd ensure that my team always played left to right (leftward).

It's been documented that individuals who read languages which flow left-to-right are more likely to have a negative bias for events moving in the opposite direction, from right-to-left. In the Penn study of twelve members of the University of Pennsylvania's varsity soccer teams (all native English speaking), researchers found that participants viewing the soccer plays were more likely to call a foul when seeing a right-to-left attack.

Doing all of this, my team would be unbeatable!